“When you’re making a decision about something, look at more than the benefits you’ll get by doing it. Also look at what price it requires of you. Weigh both the benefits and the price before you decide whether to act or not.”
Harold Klemp, The Language of Soul
This week we explored the Life Congruency Quotient (LCQ).
Your LCQ is a measure of the amount of conflict vs. congruency in your life. It is the interaction of your values with your goals and your actions. And as one of the women in our community observed, it is a great way to identify our blind spots.
Your values are the things you stand for, the things that matter most to you. They give your life purpose and direction. For me freedom, learning, family and nature are some of my values.
What are some of your values?
Your goals are the desired results you envision and plan for to achieve your dreams. Goals can be personal or professional and can be long or short term.
What are two goals that you would like to achieve?
Your actions are made up of the behaviors, responses and reactions you make throughout your day. We’ll come back to actions in a bit.
Your LCQ is essentially a filter that you can use to run every thought, word, action and deed through. Think of it as a self-protective mechanism in which you can determine in a hurry how your life will be impacted.
When you have a high LCQ you are likely to feel:
Satisfied In the flow Happy In the right place
Peaceful Ease Blissful Fulfilled
Joyful Robust Inspired Rich
Content Positive Optimistic Successful
High Self Esteem Internal well-being
The list goes on and on….
If your LCQ is low, which may be generated from a project, idea, relationship, or circumstance being incongruent, you are likely to feel:
Stressed Drained Hopeless Uninspired
Obligated Over promised Anxious Fatigued
Dreadful Resentful Depressed Confused
As if you “should”
When you use the LCQ to identify your blind spots you’ll first identify your roles, goals, values and then actions in relation to these three ideas. We took some time on Tuesday to work through the Life Congruency Quotient with a few of our own life experience. Here’s one of the examples I gave before we got started…
Goal: to have healthy relationships
Action: hang out with people that are flaky, disrespectful or treat me poorly.
If my role is a friend and I value clarity and my goal is to have healthy relationships but my actions are to hang out with people that are flaky, disrespectful and treat me poorly then I have a Low LCQ. This sounds obvious but there’s a fine line here when discernment is involved.
How often do they flake and why? How many times am I willing to tolerate that? Could I be open to meeting others?
Sometimes we need to be brave enough to let go of what we have even though we may think it is all we’ve got or that it is the only thing we will ever have. It’s a little bit like holding onto a ball when you’re being thrown another. Sometimes it’s just better to let go than to try to juggle.
Here are some examples of a High LCQ
Role – Friend
Value – authenticity
Goal – real friendships
Action – tell the truth, surround yourself with healthy authentic people
Role – Small business owner
Value – abundance and making a difference
Goal – profit enough to give a large percentage to charity
Action – follow sound financial strategies, get congruent with spending vs debt
Here are some examples of a Low LCQ
Role – Parent
Value – healthy and honoring communication
Goal – to be the type of parent that my daughter trusts and respects
Action – I criticize her after she admits to doing something wrong or something she is not proud of.
Role – Executive Assistant to a workaholic boss
Value – freedom, outdoors and travel
Goal – someday travel the world and learn many languages
Action – work overtime and give most of their energy to the job leaving little time for travel, learning, being outdoors and freedom.
In this instance there are a few ways to remedy the situation. This person could quit and get a new job, they could compassionately confront their boss to change their experience, or they could change their values. It’s possible that they recognize that the values of freedom, outdoors and travel are not their own and that they actually value working hard in a career. Making any of these changes would help turn their Low LCQ into a High LCQ.
I really like the way the LCQ helps us easily identify our blind spots and helps us get back on track. It’s part of the coaching process I use to help my clients get clear on what they want and find solutions to sticky situations. I invite you to learn more about coaching with me here.
I hope you’ll join us for an event at Community Chocolate soon, you never know what you may learn or who you will strike up a conversation with.
Community Chocolate…connection is sweet.