Identifying Your Blind Spots

“When you’re making a decision about something, look at more than the benefits you’ll get by doing it.  Also look at what price it requires of you.  Weigh both the benefits and the price before you decide whether to act or not.”

Harold Klemp, The Language of Soul

 This week we explored the Life Congruency Quotient (LCQ).

Your LCQ is a measure of the amount of conflict vs. congruency in your life.  It is the interaction of your values with your goals and your actions. And as one of the women in our community observed, it is a great way to identify our blind spots.

Your values are the things you stand for, the things that matter most to you.  They give your life purpose and direction. For me freedom, learning, family and nature are some of my values.

What are some of your values? 

Your goals are the desired results you envision and plan for to achieve your dreams.  Goals can be personal or professional and can be long or short term.

What are two goals that you would like to achieve?

Your actions are made up of the behaviors, responses and reactions you make throughout your day. We’ll come back to actions in a bit.

 Your LCQ is essentially a filter that you can use to run every thought, word, action and deed through.  Think of it as a self-protective mechanism in which you can determine in a hurry how your life will be impacted.

When you have a high LCQ you are likely to feel:

Satisfied                In the flow               Happy                 In the right place

Peaceful                Ease                           Blissful               Fulfilled

Joyful                     Robust                      Inspired              Rich

Content                  Positive                    Optimistic          Successful

High Self Esteem                                    Internal well-being

The list goes on and on….

 

If your LCQ is low, which may be generated from a project, idea, relationship, or circumstance being incongruent, you are likely to feel:

Stressed               Drained                    Hopeless               Uninspired

Obligated             Over promised        Anxious                 Fatigued

Dreadful               Resentful                  Depressed             Confused

As if you “should”

 

When you use the LCQ to identify your blind spots you’ll first identify your roles, goals, values and  then actions in relation to these  three ideas. We took some time on Tuesday to work through the Life Congruency Quotient with a few of our own life experience. Here’s one of the examples I gave before we got started…

Role:   Friend

Value:  clarity

Goal: to have healthy relationships

Action:  hang out with people that are flaky, disrespectful or treat me poorly.

If my role  is a friend and I value clarity and my goal is to have healthy relationships but my actions are to hang out with people that are flaky, disrespectful and treat me poorly then I have a Low LCQ.   This sounds obvious but there’s a fine line here when  discernment is involved.

How often do they flake and why?  How many times am I willing to tolerate that?  Could I be open to meeting others?

Sometimes we need to be brave enough to let go of what we have even though we may think it is all we’ve got or that it is the only thing we will ever have. It’s a little bit like holding onto a ball when you’re being thrown another. Sometimes it’s just better to let go than to try to juggle.

 

Here are some examples of a High LCQ

Role – Friend

Value – authenticity

Goal – real friendships

Action – tell the truth, surround yourself with healthy authentic people

 

Role – Small business owner

Value – abundance and making a difference

Goal – profit enough to give a large percentage to charity

Action – follow sound financial strategies, get congruent with spending vs debt

 

Here are some examples of a Low LCQ

Role – Parent

Value – healthy and honoring communication

Goal  – to be the type of parent that my daughter trusts and respects

Action – I criticize her after she admits to doing something wrong or something she is not proud of.

 

Role – Executive Assistant to a workaholic boss

Value – freedom, outdoors and travel

Goal – someday travel the world and learn many languages

Action – work overtime and give most of their energy to the job leaving little time for travel, learning, being outdoors and freedom.

In this instance there are a few ways to remedy the situation. This person could quit and get a new job,  they could compassionately confront their boss to change their experience, or they could change their values.  It’s possible that they recognize that the values of freedom, outdoors and travel are not their own and that they actually value working hard in a career. Making any of these changes would help turn their Low LCQ into a High LCQ.

I really like the way the LCQ helps us easily identify our blind spots and helps us get back on track. It’s part of the coaching process I use  to help my clients get clear on what they want and find solutions to sticky situations. I  invite you to learn more about coaching with me  here.

I hope you’ll join us for an event at Community Chocolate soon, you never know what you may learn or who you will strike up a conversation with.

Warmly,

Elissa

Community Chocolate…connection is sweet.

 

 

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